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I PLEAD THE FIFTH lyrics
Artist-supplied lyric sheet, matched by title. The sheet may differ from this released performance. Production notes and alternate promotional cuts are omitted.
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Intro
Hand on the book. Room went quiet. They said state your name and answer plain. I said one word. I said it again.
Verse 1
Fifth on the pie, fifth on the pan Fifth on the crumbs, fifth on the stand Fifth on the gnome that left the lawn Fifth on the gnome that came back wrong Fifth on the alarm that lost its beep Fifth on the batteries, fifth on the jeep Fifth on the goat, fifth on the roof Fifth on the ladder, fifth on the proof Fifth on the cat that turned out blue Fifth on the tub, fifth on the shoe Fifth on the doorbell clip from three Fifth on the fact that guy is me Fifth on the cake that lost its top Fifth on the icing, fifth on the drop
Chorus
I plead the fifth, I plead the fifth A hundred and ten on the list The list, the list Ask me the count and I plead the fifth
Verse 2
Fifth on the fish in the microwave Fifth on the smell, fifth on the blame Fifth on the copier, fifth on the jam Fifth on the forty pounds of ham Fifth on the pen, fifth on the DMV Fifth on the seance in room B Fifth on the escape room's nine one one Fifth on the drive-thru run in reverse Fifth on the cones, fifth on my trunk Fifth on the mattress up the tree Fifth on the permit, fifth on the ink Fifth on the name I put behind Fifth on the glitter in the vents Fifth on the cleanup, fifth on the cost
Chorus
I plead the fifth, I plead the fifth A hundred and ten on the list The list, the list Ask me the count and I plead the fifth
Verse 3
Fifth on the possum, fifth on the wall Fifth on the parrot's brand new call Fifth on who taught it, fifth on the bird Fifth on the goose, fifth on the yard Fifth on the swan, fifth on the lake Fifth on the llama, fifth on the bank Fifth on the ferret, fifth on the tank Fifth on the ostrich, carpool lane Fifth on the ticket, fifth on the claim Fifth on the goldfish getting large Fifth on the feed, fifth on the charge Fifth on the raccoon with a key Fifth on the door, fifth on me
Bridge
No robe, no bench, no bar No jury but a row of cousins No bailiff but a folding chair No record but a pie gone missing
Verse 4
Fifth on the group chat, fifth on the screen Fifth on the forty bags of ice Fifth on the receipt, fifth on the price Fifth on the hours, fifth on the phone Fifth on the search I did alone Fifth on the timeshare, fifth on the deed Fifth on the country nobody's seen Fifth on the HOA complaint Fifth on the color, fifth on the paint Fifth on the library book gone gray Fifth on the fine, fifth on the day Fifth on the wifi named for me Fifth on who named it, fifth on the fee
Verse 5
Then she leaned in and the room got thin Fifth on the day I didn't call Fifth on the year, fifth on it all Fifth on the coat I said I lost Fifth on the photo, fifth on the cost Fifth on the plate she kept for me Fifth on the chair, fifth on the seat Fifth on how long since I came by Fifth on the reason, fifth on the lie Fifth on the letter in the drawer Fifth on the stamp, fifth on the door Fifth on the thing I meant to say Fifth on the ten thousand times a day
Chorus
I plead the fifth, I plead the fifth A hundred and ten on the list The list, the list Ask me the count and I plead the fifth
Outro
She set the pie down. Asked one more. Said, "Do you love me?" I said the fifth. Said, "Then how many's that?" And I said the fifth.
Inside the recording
Hand on the book. Room went quiet. They said state your name and answer plain.
I plead the fifth, I plead the fifth A hundred and ten on the list
She set the pie down. Asked one more. Said, "Do you love me?" I said the fifth.
Excerpts from artist-supplied lyric files matched by title. Lyric sheets may differ from the released performance.